Let's Talk Words #2

Let’s Talk Words 2

In the next few blogs, I will be sharing what these words mean to me as an Alzheimer’s person.   Today, I am sharing what these 5 words mean to me:  God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Surrender and Will. 

God!     I found God when I was 8 yrs old. When our family moved to another city, I asked my dad if I could go to the church around the corner, he said OK.    I don’t remember going to church earlier except when my mom and dad would tell me stories that we did.  So God was there with me from the beginning of my life.  I loved him.  I was afraid of him too.   I read my Bible and I heard what he did to people that he did not like.  I was scared that I would do something wrong and would go to hell.  As my life went on, there were good times and bad times with me walking away from him.  I wanted my life in my way.  I would come back to him and leave until I was in my late 50s and God sent a book to me.  In that book I found out that God is love, unconditional love.   No more fear!  Now I know God is with me every step of the way.  When I heard I am an Alzheimer’s person and I cried, God reminded me I was still alive.  I was his daughter.  Then he told me that since I am alive, go out and share.  Share what?   Share his Love to others, His presence with Him and we are alive.

Jesus!     Jesus, the son of God!    To me, Jesus is my mentor, Savior, Living Lord, Redeemer, brother, amazing, glorious Lord, teacher.  As I read my bible, he becomes my friend and I want to follow him.  Sometimes (too many times) I walk away from the way.  And as I am a lamb, he is my shepherd and will bring me back to the green pastures.  He teaches me to take care of all creation.  I read the parables and I know that I am in the wrong way and I need to turn around onto another path.  Here is a song that reminds me that Jesus is my Master and Savior.

There Is Something About That Name

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus 
There's just something about that name 
Master, Savior, Jesus 
Like the fragrance after the rain 
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus 
Let all Heaven and Earth proclaim 
Kings and kingdoms will all pass away 
But there's something about that Name. 

   --Gloria Gaither and William J. Gaither

Scripture is important to me and this is the first one I learned at 8yrs old:  

John 3:16   For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son, that every one that believes in Him may not perish but may have eternal life. 

Back then I could read it by memory, today it took me about 5 minutes to write it.

Holy Spirit!  I learned the words, Holy Spirit.  I knew that it was important to God and Jesus.  It has taken over sixty years of my journey to kind of understand who He was.  When I first heard the word Spiritual, I thought I had it.    Climbing up the years my thoughts changed.  Hmm, this is hard to find the letters, the words to explain how I feel of the Holy Spirit.  I believe that in my body the Holy Spirit is working with me to connect to the Trinity.  Why do I think this?  It is the nudge on my shoulder that says pick up the phone and call the person in need.  Or, when my brain is playing games with me, I am told, let go and let God take care of me.  Or, when I think that I am right and the other person is wrong, it is ok to just listen, after all they think that they are right I am wrong and it makes me smile.  And, the best of it all:  the Holy Spirit gives me gifts.  He gives me words that will keep me to remember and they are in my Bible and in my brain.  Here they are:  

 

Galatians 5:22-23 … the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

 

If I follow the Holy Spirit, I can use these words to help others to have serenity as it does for me.

Surrender!  Will!     Wow, all my life I struggle with these words.   To me it meant to give up, follow the leaders, don’t have a mind, do it their way, it is Ok to make fun of people, and it meant that I let others run my life.  I had no worth, my words did not matter.  I was one of those in church that came to services, sat in the back seats and be out the door first after the service was over.  Yet, in my mind, I wanted to be someone, have friends. And, I tried and tried.  But, I wanted it my way now.  I want to be the leader, the smart one, the right one.   It did not work. 

In 2005, I was struggling with my body, my brain, my emotions, my spiritual life, and did not know what to do.  I was nudged to go on my knees and to say: God, I can’t do this anymore.  I will do anything you tell me to do.  I surrender.  I surrendered!     I was surprised to find out there was one more word that goes with surrendering:  Will. Oh, what does this mean?  I looked to Merriam-Webster.  Will:  used to express desire, choice, willingness, consent.  I can see that Will can be a choice. I have made a promise to follow the Lord’s will for the rest of my life.  I don’t always want to do what God wants me to do, but if I don’t, I mess up.  When I do what He wants me to do, it is a Blessing.  Now, we always have our wills. God lets us use our wills and we can choose our will.. I pray every morning sometimes on my knees, in a chair, or my bed and I want to end the prayer to say: Lord, help me remember your will not mine.  Sometimes, I forget to pray. Just now I had a nudge to remember that Christ had a choice to walk away or go on the cross.  I don’t want to walk way, but if I chose to do my will, not God’s will, I am on my own.  I would know what I did wrong and pray for forgiveness and God forgives me.  Thank You Lord!

God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Surrender and Will.   These words are amazing.  I was looking for a scripture to connect the five words and what they mean to me.  It means to me that those words can keep me close to God. 

Matthew 28:18-20

And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”(To me, these words mean keep going and share to all.)

In Blog #3, I will be sharing what the other words mean to me as an Alzheimer’s person:  Love, Peace, Joy, Hope, Prayers! 

Do you have your own meaningful words in your life?

Let's Talk Words

Let’s Talk Words

It came to my mind to remember the words: When, Where, What, Who, How and now I am adding Why. The words are not good or bad.  They do not hurt anyone.   They don’t help people. We do!  We look at these words and then we use them.   We use these words to answer questions a lot of times:  When are we going, Where are we going to, What will we be doing, Who will we see, How will it happen and WHY! 

I have lost a lot of words that I will never get back.  I can see them on a page, but not able to know what they mean or not able to say them out loud.  It is hard for me to write words.  When I can’t remember   how to write, I call Butch (husband), to slowly give me the letters as I write them down.  I also have a gadget from ‘‘Franklin: Webster’s Spelling Corrector.” It will write the word as is right.  It is wonderful.  I use it.  I am using Butch and the gadget right now to write this blog. 

I was told earlier that I had dementia with memory loss.  Words were what I lost.    

It is hard to talk words when you can’t speak the words that won’t come out of your mouth.  I told my Pastor a year and half ago that I would not stand up in a service to speak.   Because, I was leading the Prayer, The Lord’s Prayer and in the middle of the prayer I lost my words…Thankfully someone in the first row noted what was happening and pick it up and kept it going. 

When I was finally diagnosed that I have Alzheimer’s Disease, my  God  put me to work.  Remembering that I am alive, and God will be with me.  It is not just the words now as I learn that there is help.  I realized my pride was in the way.  I did not want people to know what was going on in my life. I can not  do it alone, not any more.  I ask for help.

There are many words that mean a lot to me.  I am sure that we all have words that have means in our  lives.   I have made a list of 30  words that mean to me are:

God, Jesus. Holy Spirit, Surrender, Will, Love, Peace, Joy, Hope, Prayers, Family, Friends, Laughter, Care, Free, Accept, Change, Courage, New, Alive, Share, Kind, Today, Now, Feel, Alzheimer’s, Help, Focus, Smile.

In the next few blogs, I will be sharing what these words mean to me as an Alzheimer’s person   I will start the list with:  God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Surrender, Will, Love. 

Philippians 4:13 

¹³ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Communication Tips for Friends and Family

Spring  2011  Dublin Club

Communication Tips for Friends and Family

·        Slow down the conversation.

·        Wait for a reply.

·        Wait for me to ask for help if I can’t think of the word.

·        Don’t talk for me.

·        Understand that noise distractions are difficult for me.

·        Help me to “save face” in social situations.

·        This is difficult for me.

·        Make eye contact.

·        Face me when you talk and get my attention first.

·        Be concise.

·        Laugh with me, not at me.

·        Personal discussions need to be private.

·        Ask me if I can hear you and understand.

·        Conversation should be active and not passive.

·        Help me keep my brain active.

Senior Services – Midland County Council on Aging – 4700 Dublin Avenue. Midland, MI – 989-633-3700

A True Strange Day

A True Strange Day

[Usually, I act as the editor for Sara’s blog postings.  When I do this, I correct the spelling and the sentence construction so that you understand what she is really trying to say.  She knows what she wants to say, but the tools of communication aren’t easy for her anymore.  Today she wanted to let you know what her typical blog post looks like before it’s gone through the “Sister-Filter.”  :-)

-- Sara’s Sister, Penny]

(When I write today I will be writing as I normal write in my journal. That you might have to wonder:  what did she say?  In the past and hoping to still, My sister looked over the writings, the words and clean it up so you can read it.  Not today! ) 

 June 11, 2011  

I woked up this morning at 5:15 AM and  on the way to the bathroom.  Back to the bedroom to I whent to my knees to pray that God will take care of today, to listen to God what He wants me to do today.  I also asked him that I will remember my life has to be in Gods will, not mine.  Then I prayed  The Serenity Prayer. 

I got back in to bed to have quite time to know that God is here.   Sometimes I think that God gives me a nunge me so my brain might that I have to do today.

With out knowing – I went back to sleep and had a dream.   I got up to get dressed and off the Farmers Market.  Driving by myself  I was pretty sure  how to get there.  Strated one way –no!  Turn aroud.  I was by down by a river and I was asking people how to get where I need to be.  They didn’t know I could not use the words “farmers market”  I was using the words that said: the food place!  One person told me to go to a restaurant. It was not what I needed and left the building. I could not find my keys, my jacket or my money.

I woke up  and very scared for a second.  I was still in my jammies , under the blanket.  Thank You, Lord!

Last night my sister cslled me to let me know that mom and her were going to the Farmers  want then to pick Market in the morning and would I pick up something for me.  I wanted to go also and I would drive to the market and meet up with them.    I can still drive.  When will I have to let go? 

Yesterday, I went to my Chiropractor (Butch found that word for me,  SMILE) and a friend was just leaving and we talked.  She told me she liked my blog,  especially when I was sharing my life as an alzheimer’s person.  It is not easy. So I don’t often share much  when I am in the down time, scared, sad, mean, or angry.

 

After breakfast,  I went to the mall alone to return some closes that did not fit me.  When I got there the store had left being in the mall.  Now what!  I am at the south end of the mall and I need to get to the far north end.  Do I walk all the way or go out and drive down?  Walk? Hmm!  All  the way up and back takes up time.  Make a chose!  OK  I need to walk, it is good to the brain that helps me to smarter.  I walked.  I made it down there. Bought to tops, walked back, got in the car and went to another store down the road. 

I knew what I wanted: purple tees on sale and I had a coupon for $10.  I looked quite a long time and found them.  Tried them on, and was ready to leave the area and go pay for them.  Where is my purse?  I can’t find it. I looked at all the area, it is not there.  I went to the cheak out and asked her to hold my closes, I think I left my purse in my car.  I was on the way to melting down and crying.  What am I going to do? I have done it before and God kept me mostly cool but my temp was moving.  Opened the door and the purse was on the seat.  My mind was a mess,  I did cry, I told myself I am so stupid. I am an idiot.  Then I said: Thank You Lord!   And, I cooled down.   I went home.  Had lunch,  cleaned the dishes, and took a nap, 

The rest of the day was normal.  I had a shower and soked in the tub.  Got on my jammies on at 4:00pm, sat in my chair with the computer in my lap and the TY on, cooked my dinner, ate my meal in my lap,TY still on, put the dishes in the sink, back to computer.  Trought out the day,  when I was home, I would be talking with Butch.  A lot of the times I was saying to him: How do I spell  jammies, where are we going tomorrow,  Butch,  what day is this.  I hate that.  Most of the time we just normal talking.  I like that better. 

This day is different then yesterday  and tomorrow.   The words I lost yesterday I may know them and use them without help,  I may know that I am not stupid, I am smart.  I may know where my keys are, where my purse is, what day is, time it is,  or it could be a mix. 

This is the end of June 11, 2011

Thank You, Lord

Thank You, Lord

Today, I’m focusing on talking to my Lord. My life has changed.  I am not happy about some of the changes I have been given.  Alzheimer’s Disease is making the changes.  Some changes I can’t change, but there are changes I can make.  The first thing I need to do is get on my knees (or sometimes while laying in bed):  Lord, I pray, Your will, not mine.  

Thank You, Lord for the following:

  

When you took me to the mountain top

When you were with me in the valley

When you healed me out of sickness

When I’m angry and you calmed me down

When you remind me that I am alive

When you remind me to say: I’m sorry

When you forgave me

When you helped me forgive others

When you listen to me and answered my prayers

When I am in a pit, you pulled me out

When I remember that you are unconditional love

When you gave me the words that I could not find

When I cry, you are here

When I laugh, praise you and dance with you

When it is hard for me to focus

When I know you are here

When you give peace, hope, strength, love  

Thank You, Lord

Philippians 4:4-7 (New Revised Standard)

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.