GRATITUDE

Hello! 

My sister Penny called me the other night and asked me:  “What is wrong?  Why are you not working on a new blog?  You promised that you would share your up and down times in your blog.”  Penny also said:  “You need to tell your friends why they have not heard from you.”  So today, I will try to share with you.  I am in my bed writing this now, Friday 13, 2012, but am not sure when it will be finished.

In the first part of October I was feeling down.  The Walks for Alzheimer’s and the Midland Daily News newspaper article took a lot out of me.  I am just realizing I didn’t know that these had been the reasons for my “down” time.  I talked to my doctor and told him that I think I am a little depressed. So, I got a new med.  It would be at least 6 weeks before it would really kick in.  I knew I needed to get back on track for going to Brasil later in the month.

My last blog was Stand Firm in the Lord on Oct 8. I tried to write a blog but I could not get my brain on track.    I was focusing on getting the things together for 3 weeks in Brasil such as making decisions about clothes (will it be hot or cold there), as well as writing things to be shared in Brasil (information, stories of my life with God, sharing what God told me about forgiveness).  In addition to this, I was going to church, meetings, doctor appointments, house work: I got tired!  Come night time, don’t talk to me: I just want to watch TV, read books and play games on the computer. Also, I was worrying that I would get sick from my disease and not be able to go to Brasil.

Finally on my way to Brasil, I was excited and worried at the same time.  When I got to Detroit, I met with Tony Saraiva and he told me that we were upgraded to the comfort economy seats and we did not have to pay for it.  Cool!   All the time I was there we had a lot of work to do.  Then there were lots of time to rest.  I was upbeat, happy most of the time.  There were times that I was down but snapped out of it right away.  Wow, that medication worked.  Thank you. God!

When I came home, I was tired.  I dropped back into my old way of not wanting to do anything. In our house, Butch, me and our dog have a lot of laughter until around 5:00 p.m. Then, there is not as much.  When I leave the house, most of the time I feel good.  I like to talk to friends, go out to eat with family, go to church, etc.  When people ask me how I am doing, I will  say with a smile:  “I am fine” or “God is so good to me” or “God has Blessed me so much” and I mean it.  Except sometimes I don’t.  I lie!  I am not OK, I can’t write to my friends, talk with my family.     Why? It takes me so long to get my words out.  I can’t use the letters to make a word without help. This is the next blog I am working on to you and God.  It has been one and a half hour to write about 20 sentences.  It makes me cry. 

I am taking a break now so I can share what Gratitude means to me and many others.

 

Gratitude means Thank You.

Back on Nov 1, 2010, I wrote a blog called Struggling.  I am back struggling.  I know better.  I have been so blessed by God.  I know God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit loves me, cares for me, walks with me, cries with me, laughs with me and listens to me.  I have family, friends that will do the same thing.  I am not alone.  Yet, I forget to call for help. Or is my ego thinking I can do it alone?  Maybe, I don’t want others to know my weakness. It upset me the other day when I became confused in my own home. I know I am not perfect but I want to be.   You know, it is time to be grateful and get out of my pity time.  OK, here we go!

God, thank you for being with me through my struggles with Alzheimer’s Disease.  Yes, I know that my brain is playing with me.  I knew there would be changes in my brain.  I also have faith with you, Lord.  And, thank you again for loving me.

Families and friends, thank you for your support.  Every time I remember to ask for help, you are here.  I am not always nice to you when you are trying to help me.  When I am angry at myself, I sometimes take it out on you. Please, forgive me.  

Every day in my life is changing, some good, some not and today, on January 18, 2012, at 7:20 a.m., it is good.  The rest of this day, I have no clue what will be happen.  I do know that God is with me and I know that my families and friends will be here when I need help.

Penny.

Thank You for kicking me so I remember that God told me that I am still alive, have things to do, so let’s go.

  I Can!  I Will!  I Did!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.